Undaunted Joy #72

Joy in the Perfect Opportunity to Say Nothing

Photo by Anne Hoang on Unsplash

This week, one of you shared a tender story with me. The story was about two strangers sharing personal information while waiting in line.  It was the kind of information not everybody knows, but it came up. Both shared this situation and shared their own story. Then these two strangers stood for the rest of the line next to each other in silence.

It wasn’t that they were uncomfortable that they had shared the information. They simply held that space in silence together. The silence was comforting.  Honoring. And in that silence the moment between two strangers became sacred.

You cannot manufacture these moments. When they happen, you feel as if you are part of something grand and holy. Humanity.

On a smaller scale, last fall, I dropped off my son at his weekend job. It is only a few hours.  Not really enough time to drive home and back. So I went to a nearby coffee house to work. The place was packed but I really had no other option but my car. I took a chance and walked over to a woman sitting alone at a 4-top and asked if I could join her. She said of course. For two hours, we each worked at our computers and did not talk. At all.  We both began to pack up at the same time and it was then when I rose, that I spoke to her again.  I thanked her allowing me to share the space and mentioned that I was very productive, and I think that was because of sharing the moment with her.  She said it was the same for her.  We said goodbye and parted ways.

I am re-reading Claire Keegan’s precious novella Foster this week.  A coming of age tale really, a young neglected girl finds shelter and love with an aunt and uncle who take her in.  It is a quiet little book which speaks to this phenomenon of simply resting in the presence of another. “Neither one of us talks, the way people sometimes don't when they are happy-but as soon as I have this thought, I realize its opposite is also true.” The unnamed narrator learns, you don't have to say anything.. Always remember that as a thing you need never do. Many’s the man lost much just because he missed a perfect opportunity to say nothing.”

The perfect opportunity to say nothing. This is a wisdom that simply is not taught anymore.  We are quick to speak.  Quick to share our opinions, even if we are figuring them out as we speak. Quick to fill up space with ourselves and noise. When there is a perfect opportunity to rest in the presence of another human. To not have the answer. To simply be.

Thank you to those who attended this week’s Zoom for Paid Subscribers. We were able to meet a few readers, share joy from that day and get a sneak listen into Undaunted Joy, my upcoming book with Harper Collins. It was good to share joys both mundane and magnificent. We were finished in 20 minutes but energized to take on the rest of the afternoon. I will host another next month for paid subscribers. Hope you will join us.