For the last 10 years both boys, who are 16 months apart, have attended a small Catholic school within a mile of our home. For the last few years, they have walked to and from school together and have shared the same “friend group.” But this year, the oldest has moved on to public high school, also within walking distance of our house and the youngest has continued his last year of middle school at his Catholic school.
Everything is changing quickly. They’re voices are deep and manly now. Both boys are taller than me, my youngest, who will be 13 in a few weeks is 6’ 1”! And both boys have new responsibilities and privileges. They are on their own much more. It is absolutely thrilling to watch. All the hard work that my husband and I have put into them, showing them the way, is paying off. They are ready.
My husband and I were responsible for much more at their age. Each time I think I should hover a bit more, I remind myself of this. I was nearly on my own at this age and my husband worked at his family’s gas station, then auto repair business since he was six. There were no phone trackers to watch where we were. We just lived.
They are learning how to navigate sticky situations, the kind parents worry about; guns and predators. We have to let them learn how to do it on their own. We will not always be there with them. And the thing is, when we let them handle these things on their own, their confidence is strengthened, and they are able to handle more and more.
These last few years I have repeated to them and their friends, that yes, this is a time to experiment, to do what you want to do, but also to realize that this is when you are choosing what kind of adult you want to be.
I see an innate trait blossoming in them; the need to protect and provide for me and other women they care for. This is not something I think I have fostered in them. It is simply occurring. I love watching as they care tenderly for those around them. I am getting a glimpse into what kind of man they are going to be. I am proud of who they are becoming.
I couldn't love this more!
And I think I'm going to steal your line, "...this is a time to experiment, to do what you want to do, but also to realize that this is when you are choosing what kind of adult you want to be."
This is wonderful. It is a joy, isn't it!? I was never one to buy a shirt or a bumpersticker with "Boy Mom" on it, but I really do enjoy my role--more and more each year. And like Starlene says, the line about choosing what kind of adult you want to be--spot-on. Totally stealing, too!