I want you to know, looking through the lens of joy is not always easy for me.
I see darkness just as readily as I do light. I fight to keep my eye on the light.
Last weekend, I was smothered by gripping depression. I could not move from my chair. And I did not. For many hours.
I saw darkness in the world and became overwhelmed by it. I felt useless, futile.
I won’t even tell you what this darkness was, it was specific, not just an ambiguous sense of dejection. I don’t want to tell you, because I don’t want you to have to hold it in your heart too.
Poet Christian Wiman wrote “Joy is the only inoculation against the despair to which any sane person is prone, the only antidote to the nihilism that wafts through our intellectual atmosphere like sarin gas. More than that: joy is what keeps reality from being sufficient unto itself, which is to say, it is what keeps reality real.”
This is why I fight to see goodness and beauty and truth, to keep “reality real.” I know how dark it can be out there. I know you do too. This is why searching, finding and sharing joy is energizing, contagious. And why choosing joy in the midst of despair is an act of rebellion.
It has been over a week since that day. I am strong again. I am tenacious and fight anguish. I see glimpses of God’s grace and love shining through again. I’ll stand firm in this revolution of joy.
What keeps the reality real for me this week is my 90 year old mom, who has dementia and needs me to hear her and be near her. And my grandkids, whose mom is really busy. All little Joys I choose.
I don't think I really understand this part of the quote - "...joy is what keeps reality from being sufficient unto itself, which is to say, it is what keeps reality real." Care to expand a bit?