Much has been written on the subject of being an outsider. It is a common trope. One most of us enjoy and identify with. Who hasn’t felt like an outsider at some point in your life? Too conservative in the liberal circle? Too colorful in a sea of white people? Too artsy in a community of squares? The poor girl who wears lots of pink ant the rich kid school ? Even the best of us have the commonality of feeling out of place, in the world and in our bodies in those awkward teen years.
But what of those of us who thrive best in places were we not meant to grow?
I’ve been thinking about this lately. I have spent most of my life in places where I have not fit in. The times I have felt I fit in a community or space outside my own home and body are few and far between.
And yet, after years of combating against community and culture, and still thriving, I wonder if this is just who I am. Are there some of us that just grow better among thorns?
I truly cannot imagine living within a community of people who think like me or accept or encourage me. In fact, that seems exhausting to me. Boring even.
I am not talking about being a person who only knows drama. I’m one who only knows friction. It is the friction which sharpens. It makes my beliefs, values and identity clear.
One of the core values in my family is not caring what others think about you. Once you cultivate this within yourself, it is freeing. I’m not speaking of a selfishness, but one who is not easily swayed by the masses. One whose mind and self only belongs to God.
I aspire to this. I am not there yet. But I want to choose steps towards this each day. Only when we lose ourselves can we serve God and others.
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Thank you for leading me to reflect on this Shemaiah. I certainly don't enjoy the feelings that come with being an outsider, I don't seek them out. I prefer to be my true self, child of God, walking my walk, praying that I am an example of who God created me to be. I seek others like me to help support me, strengthening who I am, so that I can fulfill God's purpose for me on this earth. I don't hide from the thorns, impossible really, and when I do encounter them, I feel comfortable being my true self among them.
Perhaps all of us who belong to the Lord’s family are outsiders on this earth.